December memories

 December is full of memories for me, not good ones for the most part.  It's my beloved Aunt Sylvia's birthday on the 4th, she would have been 75, she died 2.5 years ago.  And the 6th is the day my lovely friend Toni-anne died last year.  Then of course it's the 2nd anniversary of my Mum's death on Christmas Eve, and my Nanna died on Boxing Day many, many years ago.  Nanna I visited in hospital on Christmas Day, the day before she died, I was 14 at the time; I saw Sylvia in hospital the day she died (she was comatose); I got to the hospital on Christmas Eve 10 minutes after my lovely Mum died.  Unfortunately, I wasn't able to see my friend Toni (Covid restrictions and she was too weak to receive visitors anyway) but was able to speak to her on the phone 3 or 4 weeks before she died.

The best way I can deal with this is to think of a happy memory of all of them.  So here goes.....

I'm the eldest grandchild and had a very close and special relationship with my Nanna.  My Grandad did the football pools for years and years, almost never winning anything.  A few months before Nanna died, she too started doing the pools, her health had gone downhill and she was no longer able to go out regularly to the village hall to play bingo.  Well, amazingly, Nanna won quite often, much to Grandad's surprise and annoyance - he used to spend ages agonising over who he thought would win the football games, whereas Nanna gave it no thought at all, just marking her coupons completely haphazardly.  She only won pennies and the odd couple of bob (yes it's that long ago!), but she always shared her winnings with me, calling it 'our little secret'.

Sylvia had MS (multiple sclerosis....as has my sister).  She never let it stand in her way, even though sometimes she was quite debilitated by it - her balance was affected terribly and she could hardly walk when she was having an attack.  Sylvia loved bingo (she was her mother's daughter), she went to the Mecca bingo hall at least twice a week, even when she wasn't well.  I started going with her when she was in the throes of an MS attack - she still insisted on going, and I wanted to make sure she actually got there safely.  One Sunday we were on our way to the bus stop for her regular Sunday after lunch game of bingo, Sylvia was having a particularly bad attack and was very unsteady on her feet.  All of a sudden she tripped and fell over, she rolled gently off the kerb and into the road.....fortunately, as it was a Sunday afternoon years ago, there was hardly any traffic about.....unfortunately, it happened literally right outside the open doorway of the local pub.  The pair of us were in fits of giggles, absolutely helpless with laughter (Sylvia was unhurt), with me spluttering at her 'get up you daft moo, everyone will think you're drunk!'.  Sylvia was the funniest person I knew, we were always laughing.  I spent a lot of time with her, living with her for weeks at a time.

Toni-anne was artistic and stylish, and very individual.  She was extremely well read, knowledgeable and fiercely exacting about correct spelling and grammar - poor grammar or spelling, particularly in print, was a real bugbear of hers, and she wouldn't hesitate to pull people up on it - in a nice way, not telling them off.  She sounds forbidding, but she wasn't at all - she was quiet, but with a wicked very dry sense of humour.  I said she was artistic - she took lovely photographs, especially close ups of flowers or insects.  The thing that stands out in my mind though is the very first time we went to visit her at home - she lived in an upstairs flat, the stairs rising from her front door up to a small hallway leading to her lounge.  The balustrade at the top, around 6ft in length, was completely covered with colourful scarves tied around it, making it an art feature, it was a glorious view as you climbed the stairs.  She said she'd done it because it was easy to pick out a scarf to go with her outfit of the day - she was being typically modest, a lot of thought had obviously gone into it.  She loved colour.

My Mum - well, where to start?  Mum was known for having a wacky sense of humour, she would laugh until tears rolled down her face at the stupidest of things on TV.....the comedy programme Some Mothers do 'ave 'em, starring Michael Crawford and Michele Dotrice, was always one of her very favourite programmes, even repeats she'd seen umpteen times would have her crying with laughter (I never thought it was that funny!).  Us siblings all have a photo of Mum sitting at the dining table with a tea cosy on her head....it was a long time ago and none of us can remember why!  Some silly game, I expect.  Mum was never afraid to say what she thought, even more so as she got older, it could be embarrassing at times.  I remember being in town with her one day, I was accompanying her to a hospital appointment.  The road we had to walk down had very narrow pavements and there was a builder's van parked up ahead of us, partly on the pavement, which Mum tutted over.  As we got alongside it, having to squeeze past, Mum noticed a man in the driver's seat - she lifted her walking stick and rapped on the passenger side window, the man lowered the window and probably wished he hadn't as Mum proceeded to give him a right tongue lashing for being so inconsiderate.  He just looked at her in open-mouthed astonishment, clearly thinking 'how is that coming out of that sweet little old lady's mouth?!' (she didn't actually swear, but really told him off).  "Well, that told him, Mum!" I said.

Thank you for the suggestions of decorating my Christmas tree in Mum's memory.....I did have to smile at the irony of that.  Mum was a very staunch Jehovah's Witness and as such never celebrated Christmas, the idea of me decorating and dedicating my tree to her would have her turning in her grave (if she had been buried).  Whilst she never ever put up any decorations herself, she wouldn't have been disapproving of my doing it, she would merely have given me a 'look' and a little smile and said something like 'well, it's on your conscience, not mine, love'.

Missing

 Thankfully, I feel back to normal today, the overwhelming tiredness has gone (just my normal everyday tiredness left!).  Which is good, as I have lots to do this week, loads of little jobs I want to get done.

I'm trying to keep occupied at the moment.  For some reason, I'm finding it very hard being without my Mum right now, she's in my thoughts a lot and I so miss having her to talk to on the end of the phone.  I don't know why this year is harder than last (she died on Christmas Eve the year before last), but it is.  I'm not looking forward to Christmas at all really, I'm now even feeling ambivalent about decorating the new Christmas tree.  My Mum was a no-nonsense, plain speaking woman.....she could sometimes make my eyebrows rise at some of the things she said (she had no filter, especially as she got older), but she was very good at dispensing advice when I needed it, she was very wise and often knew just the right thing to say.  I miss her so much.

Right now it feels like everyone I looked up to and turned to for advice and just a listening ear and strong pair of arms, is disappearing from my life.

Right, must get on, lots to do.

Bone-achingly tired

 After having the booster jab on Friday morning, I didn't think I had any after effects.  However, yesterday afternoon I suddenly came over so tired, I just had to go to bed.  And I mean actually get undressed and get in bed, with curtains and door shut, I slept for about 1.5 hours.  I got up, ate some of our dinner (thank goodness I'd made the burgers and coleslaw in the morning, I wouldn't have had the energy later on) - couldn't finish dinner as I was simply too tired to eat.  Watched Strictly, then went straight to bed.  Despite being totally shattered, I didn't sleep very well - think I woke up every hour, although I didn't wake up early this morning, it was 7 am, practically unheard of for me.  So I was in bed for 11 hours last night - not including the afternoon nap.  This morning I've done next to nothing and still feel so tired I'm sure if I shut my eyes, I'd go straight to sleep again.  I don't feel ill, just so tired.

Although I'm frequently tired, as a result of never sleeping well, it is unusual for me to be THIS bone-achingly, brain-dead type of tired.  So I'm assuming it is a side effect of the booster.  I'm not complaining though - any after effect is preferable to not having the jabs and getting Covid, in my opinion.

I never used to feel the cold....years of hot flushes and night sweats meant I was almost always hot, never cold.  I've noticed over the past few months though that I feel the cold so much more now, and really hate being outside when it's cold, especially if there's a chilly wind.  I've been having my electric heated pad on my back every time I sit down in the lounge.....ostensibly because it helps my back, but really because I just like to feel warm!  I always have a fleece blanket on my bed, for Betty to lie on.....last night though I had my lovely faux fur blanket on top of the bed, it was so nice to feel warm and snuggly.  Betty was clearly too hot though, she jumped off the bed after an hour or so and went downstairs to sleep in her own bed.

Windy (the weather, not me lol)

 Not much sleep again last night, the howling wind kept all of us, Betty included, awake - she was up and down like a yoyo, jumping off my bed and running downstairs every time there was a noise.  We apparently had 50mph winds, so not as fierce as some areas.  There's no real damage in our garden, pots and small things blown around (hence the noises Betty kept hearing) and some of husband's veg supports blown over, but that's it by the looks of things.  In previous storms we've had tiles blown off the roof of our utility room, 2 or 3 times, but not this time.  Next door's small polytunnel has been trashed, and their giant trampoline was lifting.....they've anchored it down now.  Husband's been out with Betty and said there are lots of small bits of wood blown off trees, and rubbish blown around (it was dustbin day yesterday, a couple of our neighbours are a bit lax with putting out/taking in their bins).  The wind is gradually starting to ease off, thankfully.  

Well, I haven't become a zombie yet (still time though, Sue in Suffolk 😂) following my booster yesterday, although my upper arm does feel a bit like a lump of hot lead.  No other after effects noted.

It's definitely a day for staying home in the warm, I'm going to get on with some crocheting this afternoon, it'll be nice to have a lapful of warm wool!  Making burgers this morning for us to have for dinner - with salad, although I might change that to chips or a jacket spud, as it's the weekend! (we relax our low carb regime a bit at weekends, and it's not really salad weather....well, that's my reasoning lol).

I really need to get on with family and friends Christmas cards, I've done all the 'ordinary' ones, although not written in them yet.  I've designed a couple in my head already, just need to get the ideas down on paper....erm, card....now.

I am actually looking forward to starting to decorate my little tree - it's the 1st December on Wednesday, so I've given myself permission to make a start then (it's all your fault, Cherie and Joy!! 😂😂).

Jabbed, and looking forward to a quiet weekend

 Had my booster jab this morning....all ok, so far no after effects at all.  I'm glad husband and I have both had ours now (he had his a couple of weeks ago), it's reassuring, especially now there's yet another variant appearing.  As the shops are getting busier now, busier still in the next few weeks, I'm keeping away from them - too many people not wearing masks nowadays.  We have full freezers and cupboards, including all the food we want for Christmas, there's nothing we need apart from top ups of fresh veg and dairy every other week or so.  When I do need to go, it'll be early in the morning when it's quieter.

Gusty winds and rain lashing the windows kept waking me up last night, so I'll be going to bed early tonight I expect.  Bit of squally rain and very gusty today (next door's small polytunnel has been trashed), but it's nowhere near as bad as other, more northern parts of the country.  Hope everyone is safe and warm.  Don't need to go anywhere over the weekend, husband will be clearing our present car out ready for exchanging for the new one, I'm going to be rearranging the big freezer (still not got around to doing it yet), cardmaking and possibly doing a bit of baking.

Black Friday purchases - none! (nothing we want or need).

That's it, nothing else interesting to say, sorry!  No dramas, not done anything worthy of mention, nothing happening.....must try harder 😂😂

Caravan planning for next year

 It's a lovely sunshiney day but with a very strong bitterly cold wind.  I've got washing on the line but whether it'll dry remains to be seen....the last few times I've put washing out, it's not dried fully, it's been far too cold.  Which means I've had to finish it off in the tumbler, bit of a nuisance when we're trying not to use too much electricity.  On the subject of which, we've just had our leccy bill for the caravan - we're now £76 in credit, and that will continue roughly the same until March when we go back to the van, as the amount we pay on direct debit is about equal to the amount of the standing charge.  

I've just microwaved some sweet potatoes for the dog, she likes that, I mix it in with her homemade food.  I'm making a veg and cheese tart for our dinner, diced and roasted squash, courgettes and mushrooms, low carb veggies to offset the higher carb wholemeal pastry (it's an open tart, so bottom crust only), we'll have it with green veg, there'll be half the tart left to have for lunch tomorrow.

We've decided we're definitely going to take out the fixed sofa in the caravan next year.  We took off all the sofa cushions and had a good look at the fixtures behind the sofa before we left the van in October, we'll leave most of the wooden structure that's fixed to the walls in place, for stability.  We'll paint it all, but most of it will be hidden by any new furniture anyway.  And yes we do know that whatever furniture we buy has to fit through the caravan doors.....we weren't born yesterday 😂😁.  I belong to a static caravan forum and replacement of fixed caravan furniture is discussed literally every day - thousands of people have done it already in their vans, so it is doable, you just have to be a bit savvy about it and use your common sense.  Coincidentally, our lovely caravan neighbours are also going to do the same thing, so we'll all be able to help each other with the work involved.  95 days to go till we can go back - according to the countdown timer on my laptop 😁.

I've decided I'm going to keep the caravan curtains and just buy thicker linings for them - I was debating whether to buy thicker curtains, but I do like the ones we have, and it seems a shame to change them after I put so much work into shortening them all.

We're thinking of having a gazebo for the caravan garden next year - the garden is a real sun trap and gets very hot indeed when the sun's out - too hot for Betty and I to sit out in full sun, although husband loves it.  For this year we had a big sun umbrella, but a gazebo with removable sides would give a lot more sun protection.  It's fun thinking of caravan stuff for next year, keeps me going.

I'm not that industrious!

 Several of you have commented on how industrious I've been recently.  Well, yes, partly - it's been so long since I was able to do stuff, for a long time (weeks and weeks) I did barely anything, other than the absolutely necessary such as preparing dinner and putting washing on, because I was in so much pain.  Even now, whilst I am able to get so much more done, it's only in the mornings I do it all.....come the afternoon, I'm cream crackered (knackered, or really tired for my overseas readers).  So the afternoons are generally spent relaxing in my recliner chair upstairs, crocheting or reading, or even having a snooze.  And when I've done a lot these past few days, I do feel it the next morning, my back, hips and legs do ache and feel a bit wobbly for a while.  

I'm feeling like that today, so am taking things easy and not intending to do anything much today.  The freezer sort out can wait for another day.

The energy company we're with for both home and caravan, Bulb, has just been put into 'special administration'.  Whilst I'm not worried, as such, as it's been reported (and by Martin Lewis too - I don't like the man but he does know what he's talking about) that supply, accounts, payments etc will continue as normal and any credit balances will be protected, it is a bit concerning, of course.  We currently have a credit balance on our home account of about £100, and around £45 on our caravan account, so I don't want those to disappear - I'm reasonably confident that they won't.  Apparently, everyone's energy bills will go up next April when Ofgem or the Government (I'm not sure which) re-set the price cap.  It must be such a huge worry for people on lower incomes - I'm pretty sure that my Mother was in the 'heat or eat' dilemma years ago when I was a child and she was a single mother of 4.  How my Mum coped all those years (my father buggered off when my youngest sibling was only a year old) I really don't know, but cope she did and we never went hungry.

The carrot and courgette cake didn't rise very much, certainly not as much as a normal cake, but it tastes bloody scrumptious, we had a small piece each with coffee this morning.  It's lovely and moist (due to the carrots and courgettes I guess, it was quite a wet mixture when it went in the oven) and quite sweet tasting, despite me cutting the amount of sugar in half.  I'll certainly make it again - and try to remember to put the walnuts in it next time 😂.