I've debated whether or not to post this entry, as it's quite a personal one, and is something that upset me a lot.
I'd bought a dress a couple of months ago, specifically for the wedding. As I've mentioned before, I don't wear dresses - I didn't even possess one and haven't done for years and years. I almost never wear skirts either, I only have 2 skirts, which I keep for weddings and funerals! I live in jeans, jeggings, leggings and capri pants all the time and have done ever since I stopped working in an office environment about 10 or 11 years ago. I'm definitely a casual dresser, even more so now that we live in the country and I haven't been out to work since 2010.
So, this dress.....a very nice wrapover style, just below knee length, ruffled edges, in pale bluey green with large flowers on it. It fits me very well, I do like it a lot, although feel quite uncomfortable in it, purely because I just don't wear dresses or dress up! Going out wear for me is a smart pair of black jeans with a nice top and smartish cardi, and some jewellery or a scarf, normally.
So anyway, we got dressed on the morning of the wedding, husband in a smart pair of navy trousers, white shirt, mid blue jacket, and a matching navy flowered tie and handkerchief for his top pocket, he also wore a grey V-necked jumper as he feels the cold nowadays because of his heart failure. I put on my dress, new lovely white short cardi with ruffled sleeves and hem, new white sandals and white lace clutch bag. 'What do you think?' I asked husband.....he gave me a quick glance and replied 'It'd look nice if you lost a few pounds'. And just like that, my confidence and self esteem hit the floor and I felt tears welling up. 'Thanks a lot' I muttered and he, belatedly realising he'd put his foot in it, said sorry and what he meant was....I told him to shut up before he dug a deeper hole.
I had to go upstairs and shut myself in the bathroom for a few minutes. I thought well if I let this get to me, it's going to ruin the whole day for me, a day I've been looking forward to for months. So I pulled myself together, put it out of my mind and got on with the day.
But I've been thinking about it ever since, and it really has upset me. It's not the first time husband has made a tactless or even downright rude comment about or to me - don't get me wrong, he doesn't do it all the time, in fact it's fairly uncommon, but when he does it's always fairly spectacularly rude. I know he loves me, he's just bloody thoughtless!
I know I need to lose weight, I don't think he said it deliberately to have a dig about my weight, even as a misguided attempt to get me to try and lose some. I just think he blurted it out unintentionally, he didn't engage his brain before putting his mouth in gear.
I have another male friend who is a huge joker, but some of his so-called jokes can be just plain hurtful too.
I know there's the whole 'Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus' thing....but are they really just so tactless, or are women (or me specifically) too sensitive?