A change of mindset - an epiphany, if you like!

 Well, I was going to do some cooking for the freezer today - a couple of fish pies and some lasagnes.  But it's just too hot to be in the kitchen.....I have got a pan of minced chicken cooking on the hob (for Betty) but that's it, I'm not doing anything else.  We're having roast beef today, I've asked husband to cook it, which he doesn't mind, he's pretty good at doing roast dinners.  His elbow is so much better now, the swelling has gone down a lot and the redness gone altogether.  He says it still feels 'a bit funny' - his words - but doesn't feel sore like it did.

I've put washing out on the line, all I'm going to do now is make an anniversary card - I've already drawn the picture (some lilies, one of my favourite things to draw and a favourite flower of the card recipient) so it's just a case of sticking it on the card blank then adding some sentiments and decorative bits.  Then I shall sit and draw up a few more lists.....menu plan for the next week, both here and at the van, list of things we need to take to the van on Weds eve/Thurs morn (whichever day we go), and jobs we are planning on doing at the van this time.

Everything is going swimmingly right now (fingers crossed!!) - the van is coming on in leaps and bounds now, the end is nearly in sight, and I have some exciting things coming up that I'm really looking forward to.  Life is good, very good.

I've had my eyes opened a bit these past couple of weeks and have had a change of mindset.  I'm a big girl, as I've mentioned before - had a battle with my weight almost my entire life.  I've always been quite self conscious about it, as a result of having the mickey taken out of me when I was younger.  Now, whilst I have successfully lost weight a few times over the years, it always goes back on again - mainly because I'm a comfort eater, I think.  First sign of stress or anxiety and I'm stuffing my face with carbs.  I've always dressed to hide (well, as much as it can be hidden) my fat, although I don't dress conventionally (for a woman of my age!) and don't shy away from wearing clothes or patterns or colours that others might raise their eyebrows at - age is not a barrier to wearing whatever you want, in my opinion, although size has been for me, up till now.  I've rarely worn shorts though, as I feel self conscious in them - dunno why really as my legs are the slimmest part of me!!

Well, at our caravan park I've noticed that a) there are several women (and men) who are quite a bit bigger than me, and b) they all, without exception, wear whatever they like!!  Acres of flesh on show, and dressed however the hell they please.  And nobody bats an eyelid!  So it's kind of given me the confidence to realise that nobody really cares what anybody else looks like - or wears - and nobody is going to look at me and think 'what the hell is she wearing?!'.  Well, they might think it, but I very much doubt anyone is going to say it!  

So today, I'm wearing shorts - admittedly, I'm not planning on going anywhere, it's too hot, but I've already been out in the garden and chatted to a couple of neighbours WHILST WEARING MY SHORTS!!  So now it's to hell with it, I'll wear whatever I damn well please.  How liberating.