Joking aside....

 Husband is a joker, has been all his life....well, as long as I've known him, 42 years.  After all that time, I know when he's kidding - he does it with a straight face - but people who don't know him (or not very well) don't.  After he's said something jokingly, people often give him a strange look....trying to work out if he's serious or not.....husband loves that, he loves the fun of shocking people.  And he doesn't always tell them he's kidding, sometimes he just likes to leave them wondering, and it's left up to me to explain or reassure them.

During the memory assessment tests the other day, husband gave several jokey answers - I could see from the expression on the psychologist's face that she was unsure whether he was kidding or not.  I told her he jokes all the time and, unfortunately, sometimes what he says has to be taken with a pinch of salt.  A couple of times when he'd given particularly ridiculous jokey answers, I touched his arm and said it would be better if he just gave Clare (the psychologist) a straight answer - after all, it was a serious examination he was having.

After about an hour of questions, Clare started asking husband about his mood, and I realised she was exploring whether he was suffering from depression or anxiety (I've had the same questions put to me when I've been depressed).  She said she had to go and collect another form for husband to complete that she didn't have with her, so went off to get it.  It turned out to be the standard tick-box form to determine if one is suicidal - I recognised it immediately, having had to fill one in myself 2 or 3 times.

Now, I've suffered with clinical depression a few times, the type I have is called Reactive Depression, meaning it comes on as a result of something happening.  Husband, however, has only ever once had depression - about 20-odd years ago when he was involved in an RTA and had to have 12 weeks off work.  It was fairly short-lived, he had antidepressants for a few months and one session of counselling (he refused to go anymore after that) and was back to his usual self within about 6 or 7 months.

I hadn't realised that husband may be suffering from depression - he doesn't actively look miserable, but all the other signs were/are there - he's not as active or outgoing as he normally is, he's just sitting watching TV far more than usual, he's argumentative and short-tempered (very!) which is out of character for him.  He's not sleeping very well (again, not like him) and is eating more than usual.  And he has no interest in anything really.  How could I have missed all that - well, the possible reason for all of that?  Well, I suppose because, other than that one time so many years ago, he's never suffered with depression before.

Incidentally, the day after the memory assessment, I gently pointed out that it may not be a good idea to be joking all the time during such an assessment, and asked why he felt the need.  After some umming and aahhing, he admitted it was to cover up the fact that he felt so anxious about some of the tests and questions.  He never tells me anything, I have to prise stuff out of him with a crowbar.

We're off to the caravan again this morning, staying for a few days.  I was supposed to have an eye examination next Monday (I have a minor problem with my right eye), but had a phone call yesterday to move the appointment to Wednesday next week, so we can stay at the van for an extra couple of days if we want to.  Changing appointments (by them, not us) seems to be the norm nowadays.