A weekend off

 Thank you for all the comments and support, I appreciate them very much.

I've been finding it very hard the past couple of weeks to cope with the problems husband throws up - it's not his fault, he doesn't do any of it deliberately, I know that.....doesn't mean it's not still hard to cope with though.  Husband is largely oblivious to the chaos he creates, which is good for him I guess.  I do have sympathy for him, contrary to how it may seem sometimes, but it's so wearing!  The guy from the Housing Association yesterday said that when the kitchen fitters arrive, they will help with getting the appliances moved out of the kitchen - husband said no it's fine, we'll have done it all before they arrive.  So I quietly said to the guy that help would be appreciated and thanked him.  After he'd gone, I said to husband that there's no point in us 2 oldies with assorted health problems tiring ourselves out and breaking our backs to shift the appliances, when young fit and strong blokes are willing to do it for us!  He did agree.  I know what it is, he does this all the time, he wants to prove that he is still capable of doing things.  Which I understand and empathise with - but he's got to realise that neither of us is able-bodied and capable of doing things we could manage easily years ago.

It's like I am constantly having to intervene when husband is coming out with rubbish, constantly having to try and convince him that there are better and easier ways of doing things.  Trying to get him to see that I have his best interests at heart, having to cope with his argumentativeness, contradicting everything I say in front of people.  And of course there's the things I have to repeat, things I've already told him, every day, umpteen times a day (and just you try telling somebody something for the 3rd or 4th time that day, without then saying 'I've already told you!'.  It's very hard, and there's no point in saying it because he obviously doesn't remember being told before).  Finding things that he's lost (he puts things down and then can't remember where, that happens daily).  Clearing up the mess when he's dropped or knocked something over - he says he's cleared up but never does it properly.  He knocked his full mug of tea he'd just made himself the other day, I found sticky splashes of tea all over the kettle and wall tiles and dripped into the cutlery drawer - after he'd 'cleaned up'.  Some tiny little screws on the kitchen floor a few days ago - he'd tipped the little tool box over, he managed to grab it before it fell off the table but didn't notice the screws dropped on the floor - I found them when I trod on one later on (luckily I had slippers on).  I'm on 'alert' all the time, which in itself is very tiring.

Well, I'm having a weekend off - no housework, minimal cooking (we're having a takeaway tonight), a very simple roast dinner tomorrow.  I've encouraged husband to go to the local boot sale on his own this afternoon (we usually go together) - that'll give me an hour or so of peace.  I shall potter in the garden this afternoon, and do some drawing tomorrow - I want to draw a few flower cards.