Saturday, 8 October 2022

I've been busy

As I said, I've set a few things in motion.

I'm not State Pension age for more than 3 years yet - I do have a small monthly private pension but no other income.  Although I am feel ancient and decrepit, I'm not actually disabled - I can walk (just about!), wash and dress myself, cook and look after myself, so I really don't see that I'd be eligible for any benefits.  However, I've discovered that Citizens Advice hold an advice session fortnightly in the next village along, so I should be able to pop in there and speak to them soon (I've just missed this week's session).

And I've taken the big step of registering on the Council social housing list - well, I've started the application, it's numerous online pages long.  Apparently, depending on what type of housing and whereabouts one is looking for, there could be currently up to a 5-year waiting list - although medical requirements might make it shorter.  From what I've seen so far, Council housing rents would certainly be cheaper than we are paying now.....although our private tenant rent here, in this very rural area with no amenities, is much less than we would be paying for a house in town - private rents locally have gone through the roof, due to the big influx of Hinkley Point C power station workers.  Whether I'd be able to get a Council place on my own, I have no idea - but nothing ventured, nothing gained.  And even if we had to get a place together, as long as it was near facilities and on a bus route I'd be fine, it would make life so much easier for me.

I'm feeling a bit better now I'm taking some action.  I've decided husband isn't getting away with doing next to nothing from now on, and if I want something doing, I will make it clear I want it done now, with no arguments or grumbles.  We've had a broken curtain rail in the hall for over a year, unbelievably - husband broke it by dropping something on it as he was coming downstairs in summer last year, it's been hanging off at one end ever since, despite my asking him regularly to either fix it or buy a new rail.  Well, the other day he had to take me to town as I needed a few things in Wilko, whilst in there I told him to go and buy a new rail - he did.  And he actually put it up too, without any prompting.  I've also made sure he got done the 3 little jobs I wanted him to do before we went away last week.

Thank you again for all the supportive comments, helpful suggestions, empathy and care, it means a lot.


  1. Oh, Sooze, I'm so glad you're starting to sort out a few things. If you could move to somewhere near a few shops etc, it would make your life so much easier. I don't drive, either (and no intention of learning - 3 lessons taught me that!) and where we live, I can walk to shops and there are frequent bus and train services nearby. Maybe your husband is slowly realising that he needs to help out a bit more. It does take them a while, bless 'em! Sending hugs your way. xx

  2. Hopefully, he is picking up the vibes and hints.
    Well done, Sooze. They say getting started is the hardest part and you've done that with bells on. Being closer to necessary amenities would be such a help and I do hope you can get some good advice from the CA. xx

  3. It's a good feeling to start to take back control isn't it. Well done you ... really ... this has taken a lot of strength on your part, but you are doing it.

  4. I'm happy for you that you started taking action. Very different circumstances, but my daughter has too, which by default hopefully will make my life easier too.

  5. You've made a good positive start to improving your lot in life, well done Sooze. Hope the meeting with CA goes well.

  6. So happy to hear that you have made such a positive start. I wonder if your husband has picked up the vibes that you are no longer going to be a push over. I certainly hope so. I hope and pray you get a home closer to amenities and services. You are finding some independence and that is a wonderful thing for you.

  7. I am very happy to hear that you have made some changes. Keeping husband on task is worth the added effort. He may even become a bit more aware - wouldn't that be wonderful? Keep fighting. I know there will be set backs but don't give up. Give it a day or so, think things out, write down some ideas or plans and do your best to get back into the fight as soon as possible. We are all cheering you on and wishing you the best. Ranee (MN) USA


  8. Great work Sooze. Thank you for bringing a difficult subject into the light. A situation which affects many and yet so many struggle with what to do. One of the biggest demographics today is older women who find themselves homeless due to the breakdown of a marriage or relationship. Having spent their lives bringing up children or supporting the careers of husbands/partners they now find themselves with limited options. Without money or suitable accommodation some resort to living out of a car, some couch surf, some live on the streets. It’s a scary fearful dilemma but for some there’s no alternative.
    It is a cautionary tale and being prepared with an exit plan can help protect us from hardships. Have a plan and prepare for things ahead. Open a separate Bank Account, have a budget and always, always pay yourself, putting something into the account each week. Start preparing months prior. Gather any papers together that might be needed. Never tell your spouse you’re leaving before you are physically ready to leave. From personal experience - It invites complications.
    Just a few practical hints for anyone thinking of making their own journey.
    Guilt can keep us shackled but it will always trip us up in the end. We deserve a life of bliss.
    From Shiralee


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