Wednesday, 29 March 2023

A sense of humour helps

 Thanks for all your comments and suggestions.  I've looked into PoA's, they cost £82 to set up and can take up to 20 weeks to action, according to the Government website.  As some of you said, it may well be simpler (and free) just to put all of our current and savings accounts into our joint names, I've set things in motion to do just that, emailing one bank who don't have a branch in our town, we'll visit the other bank this morning.  Our main bank account, from which the majority of our direct debits are paid, is already in joint names, but both of us have our own current and savings accounts in our sole names.  It's me, however, who deals with all of our finances, I have done for a long time.

I got everything on my list of jobs done yesterday, husband did a couple of jobs I gave him too.  He was having a clumsy day yesterday, kept dropping things - some days are worse than others.  He dropped the can containing the salmon bones, skin and oil (from the can of salmon I used to make the fishcakes) on the kitchen floor spilling it everywhere, I was saving it for the dog.  He also left a hard plastic jug balanced on the edge of the bath and it promptly fell off, breaking the handle off.  He mended it with superglue, dropped the jug and the handle broke off again....I had to laugh, laughing is better than crying!  ๐Ÿ˜  I rarely get annoyed if he drops things - he doesn't do it on purpose, he's been like it for years so I'm pretty much used to it, although it has got worse lately.  I was a bit upset once when he smashed an expensive Spode fruit bowl that was a favourite thing (he dropped a can of beans on it) some time ago, but again, it was an accident.  He did try looking on ebay for a replacement, but couldn't find one.  No matter, it's only a 'thing', it wasn't my head or foot!  He does generally clear up his breakages/spillages, rather than leaving me to do it.  Some days though it does seem like he's a disaster waiting to happen ๐Ÿ˜’ and I feel like saying to him "Just sit down, don't move and don't touch anything" ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚

We're popping into town this morning to pick up a few things, go into husband's bank to action the joint names on his account, and take a few more unwanted possessions into a charity shop. Intermittent rain forecast again so we'll have to dodge the showers, at least the wind has died down a bit - still windy, but not as strong.  


  1. Good for you - it is very reassuring once it's all sorted. xx

  2. Another thing that will be a good idea is to put joint names on any household bills. Due to data protection it's virtually impossible to speak to anyone if you have a problem if you are not the account holder.

  3. Yes, we (I'm including myself here!) don't break things on purpose, so no point getting angry or upset. A good idea to put everything into joint names, including household bills as Hazel suggests. As for LPA's, if you can afford them, I'd still get them done. The health one has a section for life sustaining treatment. I dread being kept alive when there's no hope, but because no-one knows what I want, or has the authority to say yay or nay, the doctors try everything. Not a pleasant thought, but worth thinking about. We're hoping to dodge the showers today, too, but I'm wrapping up warm. I was frozen yesterday! xx

  4. We have just updated our wills and made enduring powers of attorney mostly to protect against people making decisions on care needs against our wishes.Our solicitor registered our documents but said they were running about eight months behind however they were current as soon as he registered them and if needed before that could be fast forwarded . It cost us about £180 and was worth it for peace of mind. We are in Scotland so I don't know if there is any difference.

  5. I hesitate to write this and hope you don't mind me mentioning a few things in relation to your current situation. I worked in a solicitors dealing with clients where a few problems came up because they had no LPA/EPA in place and they had to have a solicitor to sort things out for them which was quite costly as you can imagine. Often future problems might not be so obvious at the moment so just thought I would mention a couple of things that I know can arise. As others have said it is a good idea to prepare by putting accounts and bills into joint names but it is not always foolproof and things can become complicated especially if you suddenly became too ill to deal with the finances yourself. I don't think anyone in the comments has mentioned that once a bank knows that one of the joint account holders has lost mental capacity then they can freeze the account and they have the discretion to limit it to essential withdrawals only eg living expenses, medical and care fees. It might be prudent to keep one personal account separate for non essential purchases in case a joint account becomes restricted. Cash ISA's for example cannot be in joint names anyway but would give you access to money if needed. Also you might want to check on a future tenancy agreement with the social housing you are looking to rent and if they will require both signatures - some landlords, even social landlords do. I was thinking that if the assesment suggests dementia and then you put in further medical evidence to enhance your position on the council list would this become a problem if your husband is required to sign but didn't have an LPA in place allowing you to do this on his behalf if by the time a place is offered he has become worse. It might be worth exploring. Ideally an LPA/EPA should be in place before or shortly after any diagnosis of dementia has been given - they cannot be done later on if a person becomes worse as they will then be deemed not fit enough to understand the implications of signing one. If you do decide to do one you might qualify for a reduced fee, or if you need any more info on this just Google it there are many solicitors giving free advice on the internet around this subject. The NHS also has some advice on this topic.
    Sorry this comment is a bit long winded - Good luck with everything - it is a difficult time for you both and I wish you well.

  6. Tony has always been really clumsy and forever breaking things. Although I have always said that it's just things I do have to grit my teeth sometimes.


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