A tiny bit of progress

 Husband's key worker rang yesterday, it was quite an interesting conversation.  She initially asks how we both are, how we're coping and if there are any new problems.  She then asked husband how his short term memory is right now.....he answered that it's fine, no problems!  So I said no it isn't, it's terrible, he's in denial about it just as he is about a lot of things.  She asked what else I thought he was in denial about, I answered well for a start he drives too fast and refuses to admit it.....although I can't see the speedo from my seat, I'm not stupid, I can tell when he's speeding.  The other day we were going somewhere we hadn't been before (the scanner place in Taunton where husband was having his brain scan) so I switched on the satnav on my phone, which also shows the speed we're travelling at.  Surprise, surprise - husband was speeding on several occasions, I showed him on my phone so he had to accept it, which he wasn't pleased about.  He then brushed it off as 'only' being a few miles over the limit, as if the rules don't apply to him.  I also said he often refuses to accept things I'm saying - e.g. the shower stopping because he starts running the taps in the kitchen (incidentally, it's happened twice more this week 😒).  Because he insists that it 'can't' or 'shouldn't' happen, he refuses to believe me, as if I'm telling lies.  He's pointed out that it never happens when he's having a shower.....well no dear, that's because I make a point of not running the taps whilst he's in the shower!  Perhaps I should....he can't deny it then!

I asked about husband's brain scan results - they're not in yet, the key worker said they don't generally even tell the patient about the results.  Why not?  I asked, we (or at least I) would like to know!  After all, it has a bearing on husband's mental abilities and should make any diagnosis a bit clearer.  She said she's not comfortable herself with withholding information from the patient or their carer, so said she would try and find a way to let us know the results - without getting herself into trouble.  As for the backlog/waiting list of appointments for the further in depth cognitive testing - she said realistically it's likely to be December before we get an appointment 😡.  So I said that's a pity, because if it turns out husband does have some form of dementia, we're missing out on him possibly getting medication for it for months to come.  I know not all forms of dementia can be treated with medication but some can, the meds either help with symptoms or help to slow the advancement.  Well, it turns out that husband is unlikely to be prescribed any medication for it anyway, because the current meds slow the heart rate down and lower BP - neither of which would be suitable in husband's case due to his heart failure.  So that was a bit of a blow.  It seems it would be a case of helping to manage the symptoms in other ways, e.g. by having physical or memory aids, or encouraging the patient to attend day centres.  Well, I know for certain husband won't attend any day centres, he views it as sitting with a load of bonkers old people - and he doesn't class himself as one of them!  To be fair, I don't think he's at that stage either.  I did actually visit a local ForgetMeNot day centre just to see what it was like - I went on my own, to check it out first.  There were about a dozen elderly women, mostly quite a bit older than husband, and just 2 men, they all had carers or relatives with them.  They were all sitting round tables facing each other in a circle, having a sing song of Vera Lynn type songs - husband would have absolutely hated it.

The keyworker did, however, suggest she refers him to the local Alzheimer's Society representative, who will come and see us at home.  Ok, husband's not been diagnosed with Alzheimer's, or any other form of dementia, as yet, but she said they are very good at helping people with memory problems, suggesting ways to cope, signposting to other local organisations who could help in other ways - and they help the carers too.  Yes please, I said.

So at the moment there's a little advancement, but still a lot of waiting!