Two friends, one bloggy, the other real (not that bloggy friends are any less real - they are very real indeed, we're just not likely to meet on a regular basis, if at all), have been amazingly kind and thoughtful to us this past week - you know who you are! I was thinking about it on and off throughout the night - what makes a good friend? This is what constitutes good friendship for me, in no particular order, just as I thought of them:-
1. Shared interests, it's nice to have someone to share your passion for something.
2. A good sense of humour - important to me as I like a good laugh. Even better if they have a somewhat juvenile, schoolboyish sense of humour, as I have.
3. A shoulder to cry on when necessary, someone who will listen without judgement, give you a hug and just make you feel safe.
4. Someone you can tell anything, whom you trust implicitly, who understands where you're coming from, doesn't necessarily agree with it but supports you anyhow, because you're friends.
5. A person in whose company you're happy to be, even without talking. Someone who makes you smile when you see them, and who knows just how to make you laugh.
6. A kindred spirit, someone who you just connect with automatically, who's on the same wavelength as you, knows how your mind works, each of you knows what makes the other tick.
7. Someone you love and who loves you unconditionally, recognising you each have faults but accepting them, as it's part of what makes them and you who you are.
8. Someone you can count on, for anything, be it practical help or advice. Someone who will tell you the truth, not just what you want to hear, but who recognises that sometimes you just need them to say what you want to hear.
9. Someone you can look at or think about and think 'I'm so glad I met you'.
I don't have tons of friends like I did when I was in my teens and 20s, life changes and house (even area) moves mean that you lose contact with some friends. And as I get older I tend to have less patience with people who aren't really true friends. I can count on my fingers the number of true friends I have now, some are local, some live some distance away and I don't see them all that often but still count them as good friends, nonetheless (thank goodness for the internet and phones!). I love all my friends unconditionally and feel privileged to have them in my life.
It will be the anniversary this month of when one of my oldest and dearest friends died. We met at college and she was a big part of my life although we didn't see each other very often. We could be open and honest and helped each other through some bad times. I still miss her so much - she was everything on your list.
ReplyDeleteI think your list is spot on, I have far fewer friends now than at any point in my life. It is by choice, I no longer like to spend time in crowds and constant noise leaves me with a headache for days. I do keep in touch with many old friends but am unlikely to meet up with them in the future.
ReplyDeleteGreat list!
ReplyDeleteGlad you have some that are like that.
I've had friends which have come and gone over the years for one reason or another but true friends, the ones you can really count on when the chips are down, are worth their weight in gold. I'm glad you have people like this in your life.
ReplyDeleteMy oldest friend, W, and I meet up nearly every week and she ticks off many of your list. Weirdly, when we're having mooch around the clothes shops, we'll simultaneously pick up the same thing to show each other.
ReplyDeleteW & I also had another close friend, whose cancer returned last July and she passed away in January. We both miss her so much. But when we meet up, she'll often crop up in our conversations and makes me more determined for us to enjoy our days out.