Taking control

It's one of those nights again, never mind, I'll go back to bed soon.

Thank you so much for all the supportive comments, so kind, some of them brought tears to my eyes.  Monday was a particularly bad day, what with chronic lack of sleep, hip and back pain and the worry over husband's latest problem.  Other worries too, which are preying on my mind, like the fact that our car is old and falling apart and husband doesn't think it will get through the next MOT due at the end of this month.  And the bloody builders next door are in full force again with sustained and prolonged periods of noise - loud hammering and power tools mainly, it really does my head in, having my music turned up doesn't mask it, although I am trying to ignore the noise, not always successfully.  We had to go out yesterday for a few hours, I couldn't stand the noise anymore.

Husband's pee doesn't look bloody anymore....whether it does still contain blood remains to be seen, he's got to take another sample into the GP this morning.  He's still got pain when peeing and is still needing to go very frequently, so whatever it is hasn't cleared up yet.  

I've begun taking steps to help myself.  Whilst googling to see if there are any NHS sleep clinics nearby, I found something called Sleepstation  www.sleepstation.org.uk/, it's an online programme aiming to help relieve sleeping problems in 6 weeks.  You can be referred by your GP, or pay privately at a basic cost of £95.  I've filled in the forms, they'll contact my GP and arrange the referral.

I discovered (from our village newsletter) that there is a smallish library in a neighbouring village, it was originally run by the Council but was threatened with closure.  Well, a committee was formed to garner support for it to be taken over by a team of local volunteers, they were successful and it's now open 3 1/2 days a week, staffed almost entirely by volunteers.  It's much nearer us than the town Council library, parking is much easier (they have their own car park) and parking is free, unlike in the town.  We went there on Monday and I joined up and chose some books.  I have also registered to join their list of volunteers, I've always fancied the idea of working in a library.  There's a waiting list for volunteering at present, but I don't mind, it's something to look forward to.

I sat and thought about it, and identified 3 things that are causing me the most stress and anxiety, then had a good long talk with husband about it all.  One of the things is the amount of clutter and mess he makes in my utility room....when he first refurbished it for me a year or so ago and made it into a usable and lovely room, it was meant to be my room, for my washing machine and tumbler, spare fridge and freezer, wall cupboards for dry and tinned foods and lesser-used kitchen equipment, and plenty of worktop space.  I agreed that husband could have one cupboard and small area of worktop - he doesn't need any more as he has a huge shed and garage.  Well, unfortunately husband is (has always been) very messy and disorganised, it's partly to do with his severe dyslexia I think.  It means that somehow or other, over a period of a few weeks he starts to bring more and more of his 'man stuff', and what seems to me to be general rubbish, into the utility room, until eventually it's so messy and cluttered in there that it's like he's taken it over.  Every so often I have to tell him to get it all out of there.....he does it, but then it all starts up again.  Well, this time I've said that he's got to stop cluttering it up in the first place - for good, as I'm not prepared to put up with it continually in the future.  Especially when there's no need for it, he's got more than enough space for his stuff in his shed and garage.  Admittedly, they're very messy and disorganised too, but that's his problem.  He's agreed to sort it all out and try not to mess it up in the future.

So that's one stressful thing addressed.  I'm working on solutions for the others.