Feeling the pressure

 At the moment, we're spending more time at the caravan than we are at home.  Which in theory is fine - we bought it to use it, after all, and there's only 2.5 more months left before we can't use it at all for four months over winter!  Oh, for those who enquired.....I asked and no it's definitely not allowed for us to even visit the van for a few hours during the closed season, it would be in contravention of the site's licence.  Any contravention of the terms of the licence could mean the Council withdrawing it, and obviously nobody wants that to happen.

Whilst we're at the van, we are still doing various different jobs, although there's no real urgency anymore, we do have breaks and we do get to chat with whichever neighbours are there.  Nevertheless, it's still work, not relaxing.  And then when we get home, for the few short days we're here, I seem to be rushing round like a blue-arsed fly doing tons of washing, housework, shopping both for our brief stay at home and for the first couple of days of our next van visit, then getting together whatever we need to take back to the van.  This weekend I've had the upcoming funeral to think about and plan for as well.  Husband says he's got the garden to do - well yes he has, both the lawns and the plants seem to shoot up uncontrollably whilst we're away.....however, as yet he's not really got a lot (anything!) done, I'd rather he got on with it of his own accord than me having to nag him.   I don't know why I say nagging - what is nagging anyway?  It's repeatedly having to ask someone to do something that they should have done the first time of asking!!  (Perhaps I should simply stop doing any of his washing and see how long it takes him to realise he's got no clean clothes, and ask me to do some washing!).  Well, he's got this morning to mow the lawns front and back, it's forecast to rain this afternoon, so I hope he gets his finger out.  We're back to the van tomorrow, a day earlier than we were planning to go, so that we can get going on doing the van garden.....only husband has suddenly booked the car in for a service so he'll be missing for half the day 😒

I'm just finding everything to be a bit (a lot) of a chore lately - I haven't slept very well at all the past few nights, for one reason or another (things on my mind again), and I'm feeling under the weather a bit too, nothing I can put my finger on, just not 100% - more like about 60%.  It'll pass soon, I expect.

I think we need to spend a bit longer at home, perhaps a week and then the next week at the van, to give me more time to get things done at home.  But that kind of takes the spontaneity away.  I don't know, we'll play it by ear I guess.  We've both got medical appointments and other commitments too, so it makes it a bit difficult to fit everything in and organise when to go.  Husband has a habit of making appointments any old day or time, without first checking what's on the calendar or whether it's convenient - which means I then have to juggle things around.  Trying to keep him organised, as well as everything I have to do and remember, is a full time job and leaves me tearing my hair out sometimes.  When we came home from the van last time, he forgot to pick up his phone and wallet, and had the cheek to blame me......for not reminding him!  We were nearly home by the time he remembered, he didn't want to turn around and go back for them and couldn't go back the next day, as we had an appointment to go to.  So it was a bit of an anxious couple of days before he could drive back to collect them....fortunately, they weren't in plain sight and nobody would have seen them unless they broke in.  Which isn't something that happens on our Park.....although there's always the possibility, I suppose.

The upcoming funeral is causing us (me really) a few problems.....I know it's an awful thing to say, and obviously it's terrible for husband's sister's family, but BiL did die at a bit of an inconvenient time.  Knowing what he was like (contrary and a law unto himself), he probably planned it that way and is enjoying all the fuss it's causing!  I am of course kidding, yes I'm a horrible woman, don't all beat me with sticks.  And it's not nearby, it's up in the Midlands, a few hours' journey away, and husband really doesn't like driving long distances nowadays.

I'm just feeling pulled apart by stress in all directions at the moment, and it's all on my shoulders to deal with everything.  Sorry, I'll get over it, everything will be fine and normal service will be resumed soon.  Oh and I've got ulcers in my mouth again, probably partly due to stress and partly because of that damn torture device the bloody dentist says I should persevere with (she's about 14 and clearly has perfect teeth....just wait till she gets to my age!).  I just need a big hug and a couple of hours to myself doing what I want to do!