Well, 2023 has certainly been an eventful and sometimes quite difficult year....the biggest surprise of which has been our new home, obviously. Who knew that we'd end the year in a sheltered housing bungalow which, in many ways, is almost perfect?
The year started off with a return of husband's heart failure symptoms, meaning being referred back to his cardiologist for further investigations, and a lot of tweaking of his medications. The meds tweaking did sort out most of his physical symptoms, but made no difference whatsoever to his memory and confusion problems, hence the GP referring him to the Memory Assessment team. Having had two lots of tests and a brain scan there, he was diagnosed with Mild Cognitive Impairment (although I'd disagree with the 'mild' part of it, as I live with him and face the reality of how he is on a daily basis). We are thankful that it's not some form of dementia, which we were both afraid it might be, but the psychologist did say that MCI can be a precursor to dementia - it's not a given, not everyone with MCI goes on to develop it, but it's more prevalent in people with MCI. Husband is largely oblivious to the symptoms of his MCI, which is a good thing for him, but it does make life quite difficult for me. His short term memory is, quite simply, atrocious...he cannot remember anything that's said to him, or indeed that he says himself. He gets very confused about things too and finds it difficult to follow instructions. Any job he does takes twice the time nowadays. He's also become quite argumentative, having been very laid back all his life previously. He contradicts me a lot, mostly because he's forgotten things. And he's got absolutely no sense of what is inappropriate - he says things to people that would be better left unsaid, I often have to smooth things over later with people he's inadvertently offended. He does it with me too, almost every day, but I largely ignore it now, unless it's something really offensive and then I do tell him it's not on. In many ways it's like living with a stranger now, and a not very nice one at that, which upsets me sometimes. But that's life - he's still with me, many people have lost their partners. My marriage vows said in sickness and in health, and that's what it will be.
My problem relative collapsed at home and fell down the stairs, hitting his head, some months ago. Having had a couple of tests/xrays/scans in hospital, the A&E doctor said it appeared he may have a life-threatening condition which may cause sudden death, and needed further investigations. However, the relative, because of his mental condition, flatly refused to have any more tests and discharged himself, against the doctor's advice. As he's a mature adult and (fairly) compos mentis, there's nothing we can do, if he chooses to stick his head in the sand that's his prerogative. It is very worrying though, obviously.
The trochanteric bursitis in both my hips, dodgy knees (the left one collapses frequently) and prolapsed disc in my lower spine - which regularly pops out, rendering me practically crippled for a day or two - continue to be a problem, but I've learnt to live with them. I know how to manage them, or else I just ignore the pain and get on with things - well, things need to be done and I have to do them, simple as that.
I'm really loving living in our new place and continue to feel blessed that we were given it - having initially been told when we registered on the Council housing list a year ago, that we would most likely be waiting 4 or 5 years. To then be offered this place after exactly a year was a miracle, and we are both so happy about it, it's taken a huge weight off my mind and I know now we have a very supportive landlord and lovely housing officer, who makes weekly visits to us, and there is help available via the lifeline alarm thing, should we need it. I hope we don't, provided husband doesn't fall against it and accidentally set it off again! I didn't do a lot of walking back at the old place.....walking in fields on uneven ground is difficult for me, and the little lanes were just too narrow - with tractors and horseboxes going along them regularly, it meant flattening yourself against a hedge to let them pass. But here there are plenty of places to walk away from the main road....nice views of hills and the sea in one direction, back lanes (with pavements) and lots of very old interesting cottages to look at in the other direction. I intend to do a lot of walking here.
I can't wait for Spring to arrive, to see exactly what there is in the garden, and to start implementing the plans I've got for it. As I mentioned before, I shall be getting rid of a few plants - 2 very straggly large yuccas - plants which I've never liked - and at least one extremely overgrown and neglected shrub rose. The bottom stems of it are as thick as my wrist and completely bare for the first 2 feet plus, I think it's beyond redemption. The other, equally overgrown one, has much thinner stems with signs of leaf or bud growth near the bottom, so I think a good hard prune will rejuvenate it. I want to put some trellis on the top of part of the fence, where it's a bit overlooked, to grow some climbing plants up. We'll be getting a garden table and chairs to go in that corner, there's a patio there. I'd like a couple of deep raised beds constructed on another patio area in the opposite corner, for vegetables. It's all very exciting!
I'm so grateful for the support and lovely comments I've continued to get from all you lovely readers, it means a lot to me. You've all been with me through thick and thin this past year, and that helps me to not feel so alone. So I wish all of you a very happy and healthy new year, and thank you all so much.