So-so

 We're home.  The 8 nights away wasn't an unqualified success, not least because of the weather.  I think we had 3 days of really good weather, the other 5 days were dull, cloudy, rainy and with a freezing cold wind, meaning we couldn't spend time outside.  As I mentioned previously, I have plenty to keep me occupied at the caravan, husband has nothing.  I've tried several times to get him interested in hobbies, suggesting things for him and even buying him tools and kits, to no avail, he's just not interested - or tries something for 10 minutes and almost immediately gives up when he can't do it or it doesn't work out straight away - he's got no patience and the attention span of a goldfish.  So, as I said, the blasted telly was on all day long, which drives me crackers, especially when he's flicking through the channels constantly, is totally indiscriminate about what he watches (he doesn't care what rubbish it is) and invariably falls asleep within minutes of putting the tv on, clutching the remote in his hand usually pressed against his chest, so it's not even as if I can turn it off.  And when I nudge him or say "wake up!!", he always denies being asleep and says he was watching/listening!

It's easy for me to get away from the TV at home - in the kitchen with my radio on, or upstairs in my bedroom or craft room.  Not so in a small caravan - even if I go in my bedroom, as it's next door to the lounge and the walls are effectively made of very thin cardboard (well, they might as well be), I can clearly hear the TV.  He comments/commentates on everything on TV, even when I remind him that they have paid journalists/sports commentators who do a very good job of that!

He knows he's not supposed to come into the van wearing his outdoor shoes/boots - yet he persistently did, walking mud and grass in all the time.  I'm not obsessive about housework at all, believe me, but I don't like mud trodden in everywhere, especially on carpet.  Nor do I like untidiness - but of course he's very good at that!  I know it's largely to do with his dyslexia and general disorganisation (he puts things down all the time and can never remember where) and I do try not to get annoyed about it.  It's not so bad at home, but in the very small space in the caravan, I do like it to be kept tidy and uncluttered, or it quickly becomes a total mess and I can't live with that.  He rarely puts anything away, but sometimes moves things and puts them in a different place/cupboard and then I have to search around to find them - the kitchen scissors e.g., he'd used them for some job outside and put them (still dirty) in a drawer in the van kitchen, instead of in the utensil pot where he'd taken them from.  He also had a quite disgusting habit in the van (no I'm not saying what!!) which irritated the hell out of me and I had to put a stop to it before I exploded.

I did manage to do quite a lot of crocheted squares for the blanket, and plenty of reading.  We had lots of chats with our lovely neighbours, and had brief visits from our friends (who turned up out of the blue, as they were passing) and my eldest brother and SiL and their lovely little terrier - a planned visit, albeit a short one as they were en route home to Cornwall.  A nice catch up, all the same.  It's just that the week wasn't as relaxing as I'd hoped, as I felt quite irritated with high anxiety levels a lot of the time.

I've got a busy week with several things I need to do, which is good as it will help me feel like I'm regaining control, which in turn will help my anxiety to calm down.