Oh bugger it

 Horrible weather here, strong winds and rain, although strangely warm - had to get dressed up for winter weather to take the dog out, but was sweating like a pig (do pigs actually sweat?) by the time I got home.  I went out earlier than usual, at 06.30, as it was only spitting then, the heavier rain forecast to start a bit later.  We walked along the lanes instead of in the field....the field is too treacherous right now, it's so waterlogged and thick with mud, which makes it even more difficult to walk through as I can't see trip hazards like ridges and humps when they're under water or thick mud.  I don't like walking the lanes though as they're so narrow, meaning it's difficult to get out of the way of passing traffic, particularly tractors or horse boxes....fortunately only 2 vehicles this morning.  It was dark still, making it even more hazardous (no streetlights here), so we didn't stay out long.  If only husband's op had been in summer!  I really loathe walking in bad weather, don't think Betty likes it much either, but needs must.

I booked my hip x-ray yesterday, a fortnight's time at the local hospital.  I could have got in earlier at one of the more distant hospitals, but didn't feel able to do that as obviously I've got to ask someone to take me.  Whilst most of the neighbours have already been very helpful and keep saying just ask, it's difficult really, I don't like having to keep asking them to take me anywhere....although I don't have any option, I simply can't get anywhere under my own steam.  I just feel bad about having to ask, I feel like a nuisance.  It's become apparent that a couple of people, despite saying cheerfully 'give us a shout if you need anything', only really mean 'I'll give you a hand at such and such a time when I'm not doing anything else'.  Now, I don't expect people to drop everything just to help me out when I need it - certainly not!  But don't offer to help if you don't actually mean it!

Had some unwelcome news yesterday about my bladder op, which I should have had at the beginning of November but had to put off, as I needed to look after husband and dog...I postponed it until mid December.  Had a letter from my consultant saying that because of covid, the op is being postponed for 6 months, so that makes it May next year (unless he means 6 months from the postponement date of December!  Oh I hope not).  Which means I have to put up with the problems for even longer, as if it isn't already difficult enough.

This isn't my favourite time of year under normal circumstances....right now, with everything that's happening, covid and lockdown, it's even worse.  I wish I could hibernate and wake up in Spring next year.  I expect we all do.