The week to Boxing Day

 Did you all have a nice Christmas?  Ours was very low key, the Friday before Xmas we were supposed to be going to neighbours for festive nibbles and chat, but I just wasn't well enough.  Christmas Day itself was very quiet, we had Eggs Benedict for breakfast, I made Hollandaise sauce for the first time ever, it was ok but a bit too lemony, I'll use less next time.  Husband had his beef roast dinner, I was going to make a fresh salmon and king prawn Wellington for myself, but didn't fancy the pastry so just did the salmon and prawns in a parsley sauce, however come time for lunch I was feeling poorly again so only ate a little.  I made a citrus trifle for afters, which I didn't have until later....after watching the King's speech I went back upstairs to doze in my armchair.  We had a sort of mini ploughmans in the evening - some cheese, a couple of crackers with cranberry relish for me, with the addition of a couple of leftover pigs in blankets and slice of beef for husband, followed by some mince pies for him and a little bowl of trifle for me.  He's got enough beef left for his sandwiches for a couple of days afterwards.  It being the 3rd anniversary of my Mum's death on Christmas Eve didn't affect me as much as last year....I thought about her, of course, but without any tears or sadness, only good memories.  The thing I miss about her the most is how wise she was - I could ring her with any problem and she'd always have good advice.

Last Wednesday evening was the worst I'd ever felt - if the ambulances hadn't been on strike I think I would have asked husband to ring for one.  My chest was so tight I was having difficulty breathing, I had what felt like a deep pool of mucus in the back of my throat which felt like it was choking me, and every time I coughed (which was often) my head exploded with pain.  I was having honey & lemon in hot water and cocodamol and soluble aspirin alternately (in recommended doses, I didn't overdose!), but they just weren't touching the pain in my head and chest.  I was using so much Olbas oil and Vicks to help my breathing that the dog kept coming up and sniffing me all the time, which would have been funny if I was in any state to laugh.  I spent several hours sitting up in my recliner armchair, until my breathing finally got easier in the early hours and I was able to lie down.  I wouldn't wish this bloody virus/bug on my worst enemy, it's awful.  As fast as I start to feel better, so then I'm hit with the terrible cough, exploding head and tight chest again.  I feel a bit better generally, but nowhere near well yet, even after 10 days.  Strange - husband's the one with heart and lung problems (he has asbestos plaques on his lungs), yet his bug lasted just a week and it's me who's been the most unwell with this virus.  I guess I'm just really run down.  On a positive note, I've discovered lemon and honey in hot water tastes even better with a slosh of ginger wine in it!

Husband asked me a question the other day....he'd obviously been thinking about how I'd filled in the Attendance Allowance form and asked me if I thought he was dependent on me.  I said well the few days last week where I was too unwell to do anything except essential stuff, and he did virtually nothing at all because I wasn't around to chivvy him up and get him doing jobs, more or less proved that he is!  He sat in his lounger chair and watched TV - all day - even after he was feeling better, until I was feeling well enough to be up and about downstairs and getting on with the housework, washing, cooking, making dog food, putting the shopping away, etc etc. and could get him doing things.  He still does nothing unless I ask him to, I even have to remind him every time to do the couple of jobs that are 'his' - vacuuming and emptying the bins.  I don't get annoyed about it now, but I do tell him occasionally just how irritating it is to have to keep asking him, rather than him getting on and doing it without me constantly having to remind him it needs doing.  E.g., the kitchen and bathroom bins can be overflowing, yet it still doesn't occur to him to empty them without being asked.  Go figure!  I don't think he's going to change and suddenly become a model husband after 40 years, do you?!  So I just have to suck it up and get on with life.

Having said that, last Friday early morning he went to town to pick up a few last minute bits I'd forgotten in the delivered shopping.  He got them all and came back with a new chewy for Betty, and a beautiful bouquet of roses and lilies from M&S for me.....he said me telling him I felt unappreciated and taken for granted had pricked his conscience (must remember to tell him more often!).

I haven't set foot outside the house since the start of this illness and am now feeling a bit stir crazy, so as soon as I feel well enough (hopefully in the next couple of days) we're going to venture out somewhere, even if only for a drive.  I'd love some fresh air and a change of scenery.