Husband's foot is getting better, the swelling is going down in his toes and ankle and he's stopped taking painkillers. I know it's not so painful because he's not complaining about it all the time. So I'm hopeful that when he goes back to hospital for x-ray and another chat with the consultant in 3 weeks time, she'll say it's healed so well he can start driving again and walking normally. Fingers crossed she does, I don't think I can take many more weeks of this enforced personal lockdown and life being put on hold. It feels like we've been doing it forever. He's asleep on the sofa as usual, with the tv playing away to itself...at least it's a David Attenborough nature show with nice relaxing music, and not some noisy boring car doer-upper show, which he watches endless repeats of.
Had a nice squelch, erm walk with betty this afternoon in the field...it hasn't rained for a couple of days so the field is slightly less boggy than usual, I even let her off the lead for a good run around. It would take a month of no rain to dry the field out though, and that's not going to happen. Hope my wellies last out!
For reasons that I'm not going into, my life since the age of 13 has consisted of taking care of family members, doing housework, shopping and cooking, being mum to my younger siblings, being a carer, helping husband with stuff he couldn't do himself, providing emotional and physical support to family, whilst holding down a full time job. Doing what others wanted and needed...willingly, I might add. Over the years I've kind of lost myself and felt that I'd become invisible and taken for granted, and lockdown has made things worse.
Having had so much time to think lately whilst I've been cooped up or walking the dog, I've decided that at the grand old age of 61, I'm going to start living my life, doing what I want for a change, rather than just what others want or expect of me. I'll still take care of husband, home and dog, but will be doing things for myself as well. I will also practise saying No! Nothing much can or will change this side of Christmas, but come January it will be new year, new me. I have lots of plans for the new me.