We're at the caravan now.
It's been a really difficult week, probably the worst one in this period of depression. I've been terribly low mentally, crying a lot behind closed doors. I've had stomach upsets all week, awful tension headaches making my head feel like it's got an anvil sitting on top of it and the back of my neck feeling like it's being squeezed in a vice. Eczema has flared up, and a cold sore. Sleep has been even worse than usual, which means I feel like a zombie. All this is stress and anxiety related, I know. Don't think I've eaten a full meal this week, most days my appetite has disappeared halfway through whatever meal I've served up. Cannot think straight at all, twice when using my debit card in shops this week I tapped in the wrong pin number, husband had to pay as I couldn't remember the correct number so ran the risk of my card being locked. I've dropped things, misplaced things, overcooked several things as I simply forgot how long they'd been cooking - all of this is just so unlike me. I've felt like I had no purpose in life, that nobody would even notice, let alone care, if I wasn't around. Sometimes it just feels like people don't take any notice of me or really listen to what I say, it's what they want that's important, not what I want or need.
Hopefully, being here at the van will help....I'm sure it will. All the holiday crowds have gone, there's hardly anyone here and it's so peaceful. We'll be here for at least a week, probably longer. Husband has a hospital appointment tomorrow and will be gone for several hours, he's also going home a couple of times during the week to water the veg in the garden and collect post (I'm expecting some important stuff), so I'll have some quiet time on my own. He'll be taking Betty with him so she can have a good run around in the field behind our house - there's not really anywhere close to the caravan park where she can safely be let off the lead.
Already I can feel the tension in the back of my neck easing off. It's going to be nice weather for the coming week, I've got loads of books here in the van and I've brought my art and craft supplies with me.