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Friday, 26 August 2022

Problems

 Whilst I do say quite a lot on here about our lives and things that happen, it's only half the story.  There's a lot about my life that I don't talk about on here, or even to people I know in my life (my 'real' life as opposed to my online blog and blog friends).  It would be stupid and very naive of me to reveal absolutely everything to everyone, even more so on a public blog that could be read by anyone.  So you will have to accept that there are things I may allude to or hint at that I won't be elaborating on.  And sometimes my emotions get the upper hand and I might blurt out or touch on something that would be better kept quiet.  There are things going on in my life now that have become more and more of a problem over the past few weeks, it will unfortunately get worse, and there's very little I can do about it.  But I won't be giving details on here.  Being able to talk about things that worry me with someone who understands helps me a lot, even if there is nothing that anyone else can realistically do to help, other than provide a listening ear, a shoulder to cry on and a hug.  But it seems that's been cut off, things have been said on both sides that are probably insurmountable.

Following on from this, because of the things on my mind for the past weeks/months, I've taken my eye off the ball financially somewhat.  Having had a quick look at our bank accounts in the past few days, I've been worried to note that our outgoings are more than what we have coming in and, as a result, the remaining balance of the pension windfall money that husband had 18 months or so ago is dwindling quite fast.  The fact that prices of pretty much everything have risen so much lately, and this is ongoing, is a contributory factor.  So now I'm going to have to do a big revision of our accounts and spending, get a firm grip on the finances again, and see where we can make savings.  The caravan is non-negotiable as far as I'm concerned, it's my lifeline, I would feel (be) totally trapped if we didn't have it, and it's our only means of having a holiday.  The site fees are paid up until June next year, as is the van insurance, and I'm on track with my savings towards the following year's fees....actually, I'm about 3 months ahead with the savings, so that does give me a bit of leeway.  We are in credit with our electricity (there's no gas in our hamlet), oil for the central heating, and the water - we do have quite a bit of credit with the electricity, but that will be swallowed up with the big price cap increases.  And we're with Bulb, who went into administration a few months ago - they haven't yet folded, administrators are apparently looking for someone to take it over as a going concern and in the meantime, things are carrying on pretty much as normal with our Bulb accounts (we also have them for the caravan electricity supply).  But who knows what will happen in the future?  If they do fold and we're passed over to another energy supplier, it's a certainty that our monthly payments will skyrocket.

We are on fixed incomes - husband has the State pension and 3 small private pensions....the 3 of them together only amount to around a week's shopping.  I'm not State pension age for another 3.5 years, but I do have a monthly private pension which amounts to slightly more than husband's 3 private pensions.  Then we have husband's dwindling lump sum, a relatively small amount in premium bonds and my 2 savings accounts.  And that's it, we neither get nor are eligible for any benefits (I know that for a fact, I've checked).  I can't really get the financial side of things sorted whilst we're here at the van, my internet isn't good enough and paperwork etc is at home.

So there's the financial stuff to worry about, as well as the private stuff.  And this is all on my shoulders, husband, for various reasons, is unable to help.  I WILL get through all of this, I always do - I've had a hell of a lot to cope with in my life (and entirely on my own) since the age of 12.  

So I'm not going to apologise for being moany or snappy - we all cope in different ways, we're not all robots (or blameless!), and if people don't walk in my shoes or take the time to find out what's wrong, then they're in no position to criticise or be self-righteous.

17 comments:

  1. If it helps to get things off your chest here, on your blog, then do so. It's a worrying time for many at the moment. Not knowing what will happen with gas, electricity, fuel and food prices and whether the government (don't get me started on them!) will get their fingers out and do something to help people. As for the private stuff, yes, it's no-one's business but yours. I just hope things aren't irredeemable and can be sorted amicably. In the meantime, I may not be physically there, but my virtual shoulder is always available for a good cry on. Can I give you a virtual hug, too? xx

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  2. For some odd reason, I can only reply on your blog occasionally. Others no problem…oh well…everyone vents…when my youngest grand girl and I lived in the same city…we homeschooled…we lunched…we vented…we rolled down the car window and said…there goes every word…forgotten…so when friends call, email, or text to vent…I am a listener…I say…that is out the window…this is a way for us to verbalize how we feel…someone listens…we move on…I understand not putting it all on the blog…that is so wise…life is difficult at times…I am on a fixed income…I understand..do NOT let anyone get you down…if you can’t deal with that person…be with those you can…have a good weekend in your lovely summer home.

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  3. I do hope you can find someone in real life that you can talk to. Venting helps so very much at times when we are overwhelmed. I have read even here in Canadian news about skyrocketing heating and electrical costs in the UK, hopefully things do not get too bad.

    God bless.

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  4. Do not ever apologise for needing to unload, vent or just 'blether'. The friends I made through my previous blog helped get me through a couple of the worst times in my life and are just as "real" as people we meet in the flesh.

    The financial situation this country is in just beggars belief and don't get me started on millionaire politicians 🤯 🤬 😤. You and I are the same age and for our whole lives were promised a State Pension at 60 years old. If we had that money now it would make SO much difference.

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  5. Prayers coming your way. This year has been bad for so many me included. I dont know if you are a christian but I keep a personal time with God everynight and share my worries and woes. he will listen!

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  6. You are the most important person in your life!!!!!!

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  7. This is your blog and a place you feel free to share here, including stress or problems. I hope today is a good day for you, and I agree with you that your caravan is an important place for you to get away and be peaceful. Prices are shocking here in the USA too, I notice for food and for gas especially.

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  8. I wonder if you can apply for Attendance Allowance. My husband and I applied last year and we both got it. I'm not sure what age you have to be theses days to apply but if you do you need to fill in the form for your worst day of pain, difficulty etc. It has made a good difference to our financial status.

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  9. Everyone needs to offload one way or another and you have total right to say as much or as little as you want to say in the way that help you the best. It's your blog and your life, after all.

    Sending you lots and lots of love and hugs. xxx

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  10. Life is so tough all round at the moment and if you have personal worries too it can become so depressing. Do feel free to moan or just vent on your blog if you want to. I, for one, will listen and offer a virtual shoulder to cry on. Your friends on here do care about you.
    Sending love & virtual hugs, Angie xx

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  11. Hi Sooze, I've been away and slowly catching up on your blog. If you're still having problems with wasps there is a remedy here that worked for my Brother years ago on his balcony. It's fake wasp nests, which are meant to work because wasps are territorial and will avoid and not intrude on other colonies' nests. I can't guarantee it but because of the relatively low cost it might be worth a try.
    https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B0859X8SRW?tag=track-ect-uk-151517-21&linkCode=osi&th=1&psc=1&ascsubtag=ecSEPdkhftl7egtpsl

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  12. Hoping you're feeling a bit better and less stressed, Sooze. We're all here for you. xx

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  13. Thinking of you, Sooze and hoping you are feeling more rested and relaxed.

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  14. Hello Sooze Haven’t heard from you for a while. Hope all is well.
    Take care
    Cathy

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  15. Please know, Sooze, that you are amongst friends here. Ignore the ignorant people who think they know it all and use their mouth before engaging their brains. They are not worthy of your anxieties.
    As regards the rising costs - we are all in the same boat but we are British and we've survived before. I refuse to be over-concerned. Instead I'll be frugal with my spending, same as always and make good use of warm jumpers, hoodies, blankets, etc. and eat good, nutritious food. I'm sure you will be doing the same; you are one of the best home-makers I know with your tasty and inventive meals. (((((hugs)))))

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