Getting on

 Just minutes after we got home from the caravan yesterday afternoon, husband had a phone call from the memory assessment clinic.  A clinician is coming to our home to assess him and do a series of tests on the 6 April, so just under 3 weeks from now.  She asked that I be there too, to give my perspective and fill in any blanks, which of course I will be.  So at least we have an appointment date now.  Coincidentally, on that same date I was supposed to have a physio appointment, which was subsequently cancelled by them - if it had still been on I would have cancelled it anyway, husband's appointment is more important.

We had a lovely restful few hours at the caravan.  Still not many more flowers coming out, although I did notice the roses in pots are all showing lots of leaf growth now.  There was nobody else there, apart from the same guy in his touring van down the bottom end of the site - he appears to live in his touring van on site for the whole of the open season.  I checked back - this exact time last year we stayed over for our first long weekend of the season, and the weather was beautiful apparently.  There were also a lot more flowers out, so clearly early Spring was much warmer last year.  I think we're unlikely to stay there overnight until the end of the month/early April, looking at the unsettled weather forecast.  At least it wasn't so cold in the van as it was on the 1st March - we put the electric fire on for half an hour when we first got there, just to take any chill off, but it was absolutely fine after that.

I've lost focus a bit recently (things on my mind), but am going to change that.  From Monday we're going to start decluttering/packing again properly.....I'm going to spend this weekend planning what needs doing and making lists, I'll get husband involved too.  I'm also going to knuckle down to some serious saving, I want to add as much to our new home moving fund as possible.  The two Sues (A smaller and simpler life and Sue in Suffolk) have inspired me to make the most of the foodstuffs we already have (and we have a lot, especially in the larder cupboards) and to cut down on shopping, only getting fresh stuff when we really need it.  I'm going to make more use of frozen (or even tinned) veg, rather than going out to buy fresh veg a couple of times a week.

I've been feeling a bit lost in recent weeks and getting overwhelmed again - when all decisions, choices and actions are all down to me, it is hard - well, I find it so.  I sometimes feel like there's just too much going on and only me to cope with it all.  I feel close to a breakdown sometimes, but the knowledge that I can't have one - because we'd be in big trouble if I did as husband couldn't cope - weighs heavily on me at times, it's a big responsibility.  But I just have to put on my big girl's pants and get on with things.